Archive for the Work Category
Published August 28th, 2007
1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children’s art.
2. Don’t ever write anything down, especially the error message that was on your screen.
3. If we ask what the last thing you did was, always respond with, “I didn’t do anything.”
4. When we say we’ll be right over, immediately find a reason to leave so you won’t have to answer silly questions from us, like “what’s your screen saver password?”
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Published July 11th, 2007
Pass away the pointless hours with our list of things to do when you’re bored
THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out shapes and see if your subconscious is trying to send you a message
See how long you can hold a note
(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes)
Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Inhale deeply and then try and make a noise for as long as you can. Earn extra points for making your partner laugh or ending on an amusing note.
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Published June 16th, 2007
Now it all makes sense!
For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I’m tired because I’m overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
Threre are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the civilian work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And your’re sitting at your computer reading jokes.
Published April 17th, 2007
1. We work weird (night) shifts…
Just like prostitutes.
2. They pay you to make the client happy…
Just like a prostitute.
3. The client pays a lot of money, but your employer keeps almost every penny…
Just like a prostitute.
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Published March 25th, 2007
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Published March 23rd, 2007
You have received this link because someone thought that you are sending him/her way too many documents.
Published March 23rd, 2007
Published March 23rd, 2007
There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer ( WORK). Read the rest of this entry »